Yesterday, I poured my heart out here with all of my fears about my son being a late talker. I asked for help. I asked for sanity. I asked for suggestions. And all of you out there simply delivered.
Here are a few things I learned from yesterday's post:
1. Einstein may have been speech-delayed. (The jury is still out on this fact. I found sources stating both that he was/wasn't speech-delayed. Either way, in my research I found lots of famous scientists who also were thought to be speech-delayed. Which means The Incredible Hulk might be a nuclear physicist. So, there's always that.)
2. The phrase “speech-delayed” scares the ever-loving crap out of me. Even though no one used that phrase (other than me ad nauseam in the previous item.) Even though that phrase doesn't even describe TIH. It still scares the ba-jesus out of me.
3. I forgot to mention several things about TIH's history in my post.
- For one, his hearing is fine - probably too good. Receptively, we have no concerns. He responds to multiple-step commands, dances to music, can mimic the sound a lion makes – all of that kind of stuff. Though, everyone who mentioned this is totally right – these things should be considered when dealing with late talkers.
- Someone also mentioned how ear infections can play a role in kiddos who aren’t speaking yet. The good news is, TIH has only had two of those – ever.
- A few people mentioned socialization. We have no concerns about his socialization (other than the fact that he bites his friends.) At his 18-month-old check-up, I had to fill out this survey about his social behaviors. They explained that it was an early screener for Autism Spectrum Disorders. The survey confirmed that he’s developing typically. However, if social deficits existed, it would also explain the speech thing – so, anyone who mentioned this was spot on as well.
4. I also forgot to mention my amazing godson. When I saw him at Thanksgiving 2010 (he almost 15 months at the time) he wasn’t saying a whole lot of anything. The next time I got to see him was the following summer and he was a. talking. machine. Then a few months later, at this year’s Thanksgiving, he was reciting entire (complicated) passages from Despicable Me. He’s a little genius kiddo. After talking to my sister-in-law about him yesterday, I felt better immediately. He went through such an amazing transformation in just a short time. It gives me hope for TIH. Several of you readers shared similar stories and they all helped to ease my mind so much.
5. Don't read Amazon.com reviews. During my aforementioned Albert Einstein research, I stumbled upon a book called The Einstein Syndrome which is about late-talkers. I read some of the reviews of the book which were basically a bunch of horror stories of children whose parents thought their late talking was "just a phase" and all of the kids ended up having severe problems. The problems referred to were in line with the author's assertion that late talking is an early warning sign of future issues - drug addiction, suicidality, criminality, and a bunch of other REALLY FUN STUFF. I want to purchase a copy of this book and burn it. I also want Amazon.com to know that NO - these reviews were NOT HELPFUL.
Lastly, can I just say? I love the Internet. Seriously. I love you guys. I love you for reading. I love you for never judging me (openly) about how freaking insane I am. I love you for all of your knowledge and wisdom and support and prayers and encouragement. I love you, most of all, for allowing me to put myself out here, time and time again, and not ever making me feel sorry for it. I just can’t say it enough. You are all my shining stars. Thanks again.
I always read bits and pieces of your blog outloud to the girls at work. Cracks me up every time; you're so funny! I can't comment on the talking issue (no kids here), but I read to hear your honesty. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThe thought of having my blog read out loud makes me all kinds of happy. Thank you so much :)
DeleteHi girly! I am the friend that Dawn was referring to (I think) when she mentioned a friend worrying about her son and taking him to speech therapy. I don't read all of your posts, mainly because I'm ADD and don't read all of anything, but all of the posts that I have read about you and your baby boy remind me of my sweet boy. We went through the whole speech thing and I had myself convinced that he was going to come back having any variety of disorders, from Asperger's to ADD. Google was not my friend in these days. lol. However, I did find that when I blogged about it, friends came out of the woodwork with the same fears and concerns... almost always about their sons (I have a daughter who I swear came out talking at birth). Anyway, getting long-winded here, but I love that he laughs at you when you try sign language. Jake was the EXACT same way... still is, in fact, and he's turning 5 in April. We recently have been frustrated because he knows how to draw and write but just won't do it at preschool. In any case, he CAN do it. I'm sure TIH CAN do it, too. He'll come around in his own time, just like my boy did (and does with everything). Then, you'll be saying, "Please, please just be quiet for five minutes. I heard you the first 15 times you said it." :) Anyway, need to vent or want to just have someone to commisserate with, let me know. I'm happy to share in the frustration! :)
ReplyDeleteTo address the topic at hand without addressing the topic at hand... (FYI my daughter doesn't talk either - 18 months and she's still just a "grunter")
ReplyDeleteOF COURSE you compare yourself to other Moms and TIH to other kids! EVERYONE does this and anyone who says they don't is a dirty rotten liar.... and even worse they are pretending to be the dreaded "Perfect Mommy" :) So that is one layer of the Mommy guilt we all clothe ourselves in that you can strip off right now!
We all KNOW we shouldn't but we do it... we just do. I do it all the time. My best friend's daughter is 4 months older than mine and had 10-12 words by 1 year, assigned names to everyone in her extended family by 18 months according to character traits rather than their actual names (like 'No No' for her fussy British Great Grandma because she is always say 'no no, don't do that) and has recently starting greeting people at the door with "Hola" (thank you Dora). And thank you for a huge sense of inadequacy :)
The key is to let your kids path be their own and your Mommy radar to guide you and only you. You will compare but once you know what's going with someone else's kid don't lay those expectations on yourself or TIH.... and what's wrong with that? Why not ask around and see what others are and are not doing? Why not be fascinated by the diversity that is seen in childhood development? And for goodness sake - let's be honest here - WHY NOT swell with pride when another Mom says to you "Oh TIH is so smart...'so and so' doesn't do that yet"! (*yeah that's right my kid is a freaking genius and I know it*)
I subscribe to the Mommy philospohy of "take everything with a grain of salt"... ask and compare and then take what you found out and learn from the experiences of other Mommies. But apply it to your kid in a way that works for your kid. I don't know about you but I am in no way equipped to take on the task of moulding this little human life without as much help as I get. And sometimes help comes in the form of knowledge and sometimes in comes in the form of a bit of a kick in the butt from other Moms - if Ms. Other Mommy's kids are talking up a storm am I going to ask how she thinks they learned to speak so quickly? Hellz ya, I am. And will I try it with my daughter to see if it works for her? Hellz ya, I am. Because Why Not? Why not take as much info taken from comparison to other children as I can and try to do the best job that I can to give her the best start in life that I can give her?
And when she looks at me grunts and abso-freaking-lutely refuses to use any form of the baby signs I so desperately try to teach her... I am going to love the crap out of her. And tell her she's smart. And tell her she's special and important and lovely. And then I am going to break out those damned flashcards that Ms. Other Mommy suggested and quack like a duck until my throat is hoarse....
Cheers!
Did your little one start talking yet? If not, remember he's a boy and they tend to be late talkers, and teach him baby sign. Then he can use that to express himself (which should also help resolve the biting) until the words come. If his hearing and his receptive is fine and he makes eye contact, then he is most likely fine.
ReplyDelete